3 Issues Bicultural People Face — Part One
A 2018 Pew Research Center study reported that over 44 million U.S residents identified as foreign-born, hailing from countries all over the world. Immigrants are taking up a bigger and bigger chunk of the U.S population, and with this rise comes an increase in children growing up as bicultural. In fact, as of 2019, roughly 25% of children living in the U.S have immigrant parents and will have to grow up within two cultures.
I am one of those children.
Well, not a child anymore, but I have immigrant parents, and thus feel qualified to speak on my experience as a bicultural person. While everyone is different, I’ve found that there are a number of issues that bicultural people generally face as we navigate life in the U.S. It is a tricky and confusing endeavor, but by identifying and discussing these issues, maybe the process can be easier for those to come.
I’ve picked out three key issues that [insert ethnicity here] Americans may encounter at some point or another, and will discuss them across a three-part series — here is part one!
First, Step into our Shoes
Imagine you’re a senior in high school. The guidance counselor is hounding you for college applications, and you’ve finally decided on a major — you want to study political science. Your teachers think you’ll do well in the field and your friends are all encouraging you to go for it.
You come home excited to tell your family, but when you do, you’re met with silence and scrunched eyebrows.
“Political science? I thought you were going to do medicine,” your dad questions. “What’s political science going to get you?”
A pit forms in your stomach and you’re regretting your decision. You start to explain the career prospects when your mother chimes in.
“All of your cousins are successful doctors, what will they think?” You look at her, dumbfounded. Your younger brother bows his head, unable to help. Anger gets the best of you, and your special announcement turns into a full-blown argument loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
Here’s the thing — while this scenario is typical among teenagers and their parents regardless of ethnicity, bicultural children are likely to feel a major disconnect not only between themselves and their parents, but also between the two cultures they’ve been raised in.
In the U.S, we’re encouraged by our teachers to choose our own destiny. We’re taught that we are unique and capable of building a good life for ourselves. We blabber to our friends about our dreams and the kind of success we’re going to achieve.
When bicultural kids get home, it’s a different story.
The decisions we make for ourselves aren’t entirely our own. We have to consider how it’s going to impact our family — whether they’ll be proud or disappointed, happy or angry. We’re worried about what the extended family is going to think, and we start to question our choices.
The disconnect arises because [insert ethnicity here] Americans live and operate in a society that is rooted in individualism, but at home are being raised with the collectivistic values of our immigrant parents.
Individualism vs Collectivism
A quick Google search will tell you that individualism is “a social theory favoring freedom of action over collective or state control.” The U.S is a long-time subscriber to individualism, touting independence and autonomy as the ultimate achievements. At the young age of eighteen, we should be capable of providing for ourselves and making responsible choices. From then on, every decision should be made in our best interest and further our personal goals.
It’s a very empowering sentiment, but it’s not how most of the world thinks.
Many of the immigrants living in the U.S see individualism as bizarre and sometimes even rude because they come from collectivistic societies that operate in a totally different way.
Collectivistic cultures stress the importance of family and the surrounding community. Kids are shaped into selfless and considerate people who contribute not only to the group, but society as a whole. Every person has a responsibility to uphold the stability and success of the community, otherwise it could crumble.
Worlds Collide
As a bicultural person going through life, this clash of cultures can cause a lot of confusion.
How can I be my own person if my family depends on me?
If I choose my own path, will I have to do it all alone?
Am I being selfish? Am I giving too much of myself?
Bicultural people often question their actions because there are two completely different contexts to consider them in, and siding with one culture might mean condemning another.
In American individualism, it’s sometimes seen as shameful or embarrassing to do something that is not in your best interest. It means you don’t have a backbone. But in [insert ethnicity here] collectivism, doing something that is in someone else’s best interest is praised and celebrated.
It goes the other way, too.
If you choose to do what’s best for you, your family and community might see you as a selfish person for not considering them, and you might feel guilty. Meanwhile, your American peers are celebrating your choice to put yourself first, despite how hard it might be without your family’s support.
It’s as if the two cultures cannot exist in harmony, and it takes a toll on bicultural people. Constantly fitting ourselves into a mold that’s square or round when we’re a combination of the two is exhausting. It takes a long time to identify the juxtapositions, let alone confront and address them.
But if you’re a bicultural person reading this, trust me. You will get there.
What I’ve Learned
Over the years, there were a lot of times where I mostly identified with American culture and condemned that of my parents… until I found aspects of American culture that rubbed me the wrong way and sent me running in the other direction.
And vice versa.
While living America’s individualism, I didn’t like the fact that often times, we become so invested in ourselves and our journey that we don’t have time to even consider or check on others. We become so self-obsessed that we turn a blind eye to our peers. During those times, I went back to the values I grew up with and took comfort knowing that my family would always be there for me.
Growing up immersed in collectivism showed me the flip side. There came a point in time where the family’s needs and desires kept superseding my own, and I felt like I’d always have to give up my dreams for the sake of everyone else. During those times I longed to be like the people in the movies; the people who saw what they wanted and went for it, everyone else be damned.
After a lot of back and forth, I eventually realized that neither culture fully defines me. So instead of trying to choose one, I’ve sort of cherry-picked characteristics from each and mashed them all together to become my own person.
I love that individualism places emphasis on my needs and reinforces the idea that I’m the only one in control of my life. But I don’t let it get to the point where I am completely disregarding those around me and letting them fend for themselves.
I take a lot of comfort in my loved ones being there for me, always ready to lend a hand and support me in anyway they can. But it isn’t always possible for me to drop everything and cater to their needs, no matter how much I care for them.
Biculturalism is difficult to navigate, especially on top of all the other things that we have to figure out in life. The social structures of individualism and collectivism are always warring with each other, and can sometimes make us feel like we don’t belong to either of our cultures.
But what I’ve learned is that biculturalism offers the best of both worlds that neither our parents nor our peers can completely understand. Rather than box yourself into concepts and values that will never quite fit, take advantage of this unique opportunity and free yourself. Choose your own worldview.
Stay tuned for part 2!
